In the midst of my “feeling fat” I took this picture and outed myself on Instagram and Twitter of the nasty talk in my head. Scary, but this was my way of facing this problem head on. Do what you’re comfortable with, but do something!
Yesterday I launched #BETTERin30days to help us all start changing some habits – INSTEAD of gaining weight this Holiday Season. The habit I am working on is thinking or saying that I’m fat. Yesterday’s work was just to be mindful and noticing the habit. I wasn’t supposed to change it or fix it, just really get present and honest about it . It’s bad. And what’s worse, is that I’ve been working on this for years and I’m wayyyyyy better about this than I used to be. By 9am I had already had thought I was fat 7 times – granted I got up at 5am and was writing about it! So it was on my mind, but sadly, this day was not so unusual for me. I had just unpacked a box of new clothes from Atleta (you can imagine my giddiness). But like always, my excitement over my new threads was tainted by a lot of , “Oh, that doesn’t look very good around the middle” and “shirt looks great, but nothing looks good over this booty!” (Although this blog made me feel a little better!) After my clothes trying on, I had to get dressed and ready for my day. I was putting on make-up and noticed that the prevailing thought in my head was, I’m fat. I can make all these other decision – yes, blue eyeliner I think, oh, and yes for sure, pink lip gloss – and go about my day all day, while running this “I’m fat’ jig in my head. What I was very present to yesterday was that it’s always there in the background. Thinking “I’m fat” or “I feel fat” is part of my day, part of who I am. My plan was to count the times I said or thought “I’m fat” and out myself on Twitter. Honestly, after noon I just couldn’t count anymore. It was less of multiple little instances and more an overall feeling or prevailing attitude that I have all damn day! Like I said it’s better, but I’ve clearly go a long way to go. Yesterday was mindfulness, today I’m taking action. So tune in tomorrow… But for you, today, be mindful. Choose any habit, such as: Skipping workouts Not drinking enough ewater Drinking too much booze Going to bed to late Eating too much bread or junkfood….or come on, Halloween candy! Or pick a “habitude” (habitual attitude)like I did such as I’m fat, I’m lazy, I’m not good enough, or complaining about working out or having to order a salad while your girlfriend orders a pasta. And just get mindful of it, learn a bit about it. Don’t try to change it yet. Simply tune in and pay attention. Keep a notebook handy or use your phone near to take a few notes. Notice: When do you do this habit or think that thought? Is it off and on or all day? What events precede it? (these may be triggers for you) How do you feel during it? How about after it? What do you do after it? Do you try to run from the feeling or get around it by eating or exercising or distracting yourself? Just get mindful, get tuned in….next we’ll take action. Because that’s the ONLY way to change, to take action – but first you have to know what’s wrong, only then can you fix it. And if you aren’t already be sure to follow this project on Facebook and Twitter. This is supposed to be interactive – it’s supposed to be us helping each other. And there will be prizes, free products, free services, and more – so be brave and share! Keep up on Twitter with #BETTERin30days