Day 2 – I’m Inspired To Be Present

December 2, 2010

Being present in the moment is harder for me than deadlifting 175 pounds….or pretty much anything else.  I keep very busy and thrive on having lots to do – not sure I’m addicted to stress, but I’m certainly used to it. I over-commit and spread myself too thin – repeatedly. Some days I fear it’s a lesson I’ll never learn. This habit has gotten me into a lot of trouble – trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, trouble staying organized, trouble keeping an even temper and trouble healing up injuries. I tend to hit the ground running day after day after day, until I hit the wall.  Most days I feel as though I do a lot – but don’t do much of it well.  I speed through my cardio – they are sprints after all! I breeze through weight lifting, sometimes thinking if I just keep going I won’t notice that my back or my neck is hurting from what I’m lifting (Half the time I’m holding my breath – it’s a wonder I haven’t passed out at the gym yet!). I book my patients back to back, often forgetting that I need to schedule 15 minutes to eat here or there – and when I do eat, it’s in front of the computer and usually shoveled in so I can get on to the next task. To be honest, I love this pace – it’s why I love the energy of New York City. But this pace isn’t as productive or healthy as I would like to believe. When I look at a typical day I’m running from here to there, squeezing in a phone call or another patient, running to the gym – and running when I get there, writing, researching, etc until I come home and collapse.  Even when I’m not exhausted, I’m still going too fast. So fast, I’m missing out my life – that life that’s happening as I’m speeding past it. I don’t sit and chew my food. I don’t really taste my food. I’m not aware of my poor computer posture that’s aggravating my neck. I’m not breathing. But I am hurrying. I’ve finally been doing yoga and even just a few days of repeated, methodic breathing at the beginning and end of a session has helped me at least start to know what being present feels like. So today, I’m inspired to slow down and be present in my life. I’m not gonna turn zen overnight, but just for today I can be present…that sounds doable. So far here’s what’s happened – Rushing is the opposite of being present, so I got up 30 minutes early to take my time getting ready. I washed my hair a little slower and actually thought about how much I like my hair (it’s true, it’s one of the only parts of me I don’t complain about!). Instead of whipping on make up in a frenzie, I took the time to think about what I was doing and remembered that I really love putting on make up! It’s fun, I rarely enjoy it in the hurry to just get it done and get out the door. I left the house feeling prettier. On my walk to work, instead of letting my mind wander from this or that and instead of stressing about all the things I needed to get done today, I was present. I didn’t let my mind race, but rather decided what to think. I thought about how I wanted to be a very good doctor today and to help all my patients the very best I could.  I thought about how lucky I am to have all the opportunities I have in my career right now and how great it is that through my blog and my book that I can reach more women than I can through my practice alone. I arrived at my office, calm and happy instead of in my usually flurry. I work 12 hours on Thursdays so that’s my day off from the gym – this usually makes me anxious, especially with all the travel I’ve had lately where diet and exercise are less consistent. Today I decided to focus on how much my body needs down time and how good it feels to recover and heal. And instead of inhaling my food while reading emails, I turned off the computer and ate my veggies and hard boiled eggs at mid morning and veggies and shrimp for lunch. I noticed my stomach was nice and calm and also, I was able to take in the good feelings that come with eating healthy. It didn’t feel restrictive to eat well and I didn’t feel like I was on a diet. So far, today feels really good. I’m inspired to try and stay present more often – it’s kinda nice here….

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