It’s shameful to admit, but when you’re feeling down about your own physique it’s easy to be nasty about someone that looks great. Has the Green Meanie acted up inside you after any of the following: Envying Ms. Buns of Steel on the stairmaster in front of you. Nearly toppling over mid-lunge when you catch a glimpse of a girl with the most perfect arms in the mirror next to you. Coveting the perfect calves of the woman walking by you in stilettos. Dressing behind your gym locker door as a woman with your ideal body blow-dries her hair buck naked next to you. You know who I’m talking about – the women who make you feel like crap about yourself. The ones you look at and think “why not me?” The ones that make you curse your genetics and feel like your hours in the gym have been a colossal waste of time. The ones that send you from your workout straight into a bag of cookies, because really, why bother? These are the women that make us nervous at the gym or out at a bar. They are our competition. They are out doing us. They are our worst nightmare. When we look at them, our issues are triggered. We think, “It’s not fair”. Or let’s be honest, sometimes we think “Bitch”. Much of our self loathing comes from childhood, past relationships and a lifetime of kicking our own butts – and sometimes it seems comes out of the blue when we see a woman that makes us feel we come up short. First of all, I want to offer a sincere apology to any woman I’ve ever thought something ugly about. It was simply my own insecurities and a twisted way of acknowledging how awesome your biceps are. Although I never uttered these words aloud to you, I thought them and I’m sorry. I’m also sorry to me. Comparing my body to any other body in the world is not helpful and it’s caused me a lot of angst. My job is to make this body I was given the best it can be. My legs will never be any longer and I will always have some junk in this trunk – but I can be my best and that’s where my energy should be spent. Not hating on some woman whose only crime was looking a certain way that made me feel less than. Rather than spew mental venom to the women who have great hamstring definition, a flat stomach and perfect shoulders, could we instead say in our minds, ‘Thank you”? Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for reminding me of my goals. Thank you for being a visual representation of what I’m working towards. Or what about – this is revolutionary, I know – telling her? Walk right up to her and say, “Your arms are perfect, just wanted you to know.” Chances are she’s not a bitch and she’s not mean. Chances are she’ll say “Oh, thank you so much! That’s so sweet. I’ve been working so hard and following this program that…..” And just like that you have learned a bit on how she got those great arms and better yet, you totally made her day. With her workout advice and less negative mental pollution about her or yourself, you are a lot closer to feeling better about your body and having the one you really want. What if we all did this? Replace envy, frustration or sadness with gratitude, kindness and generosity? Wait…did the world just become a better place? I think so.
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