Day 15 – I Am Inspired To Tell A Few People To Take A Hike

December 16, 2010

In each of our lives, there’s at least one person we should really tell to take a flying leap. They are the dream stealers: the people who zap your confidence and take the wind right out of your sails. They are the people in our lives that knock us down when we’re riding high. They – intentionally or not – make us feel bad or keep us from doing what we need to do. They may be an ex that we’ve kept around as a “friend” that let’s face it, the same issues we had as a couple – we have as friends. They may be a girlfriend or other friend that lets their own insecurities keep them from being supportive and encouraging. They may be the co-worker whose weight loss/body image issues keep them from saying “good for you” when you order the salad and instead say “oh come on, live a little”.  If you can shrug it off and let small minded or selfish comments slip right past you, congrats and you inspire the rest of us to be more secure.  Most of though, have people in our lives that just get to us. What’s worse is some of them we really care about, but nonetheless, they aren’t good for us. If it’s as simple as spending less time with the friend that always wants to go out for drinks or dessert and you’re trying to stick to your nutrition plan, then just cut down the time with them or schedule them on a cheat meal or planned night out.  Or sit at a different lunch table at work to avoid the co-worker who makes you feel guilty or uncomfortable for eating better than they do. Or it you may have to truly call it off.  And breaking up is hard to do. Some of these breakups may require an actual conversation, but often the person whose garbage is getting in our way is self absorbed enough not to notice we’ve slipped away.  But either way, if there are people in your life that you’re letting sabotage your happiness, it’s time to cut the tie. It might sound harsh, but take a look and see who in your life repeatedly makes you feel embarrassed, silly, guilty, less than or somehow otherwise undermines your happiness…..sorry, but it’s Sayonara. Make room for the people that help you soar, not pull you back down. I feel so fortunate in my life right now to have whittled down this list of nay-sayers and confidence killers to a very slim few – and even at that, I don’t interact with them on any regular basis. Currently I feel surrounded by friends, colleagues and family that support, encourage and love me. But it wasn’t always this way… Two people come to mind – and I’m not naming names here – that repeatedly and continuously make me feel badly about myself and trigger all my insecurities.  A flip comment here or there, a subtle dig, or an outright criticism and I feel embarrassed, insecure, anxious, upset or just generally bad. To those of you that keep me from being happy I say, “I’m done”.  I am not sure if it’s you or me, quite frankly it doesn’t matter, but it’s time to break up. I wish you well, but I’ve got to take care of myself and I just don’t have room for the doubt and sabotage you bring to my life. It’s going to happen, people will be jerks (we will all be jerks from time to time too…). But if there are people in your world that are keeping you from the life, health and body you want it’s time to gently say good bye or good riddance…even if it’s only in your own head.  They say we are who we surround ourselves with – make that circle supportive, nurturing and inspiring. Who is surrounding you?

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